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While I get this is supposed to be a funny one, I actually was born at a very young age…3 months premature! In 1987, a 3-month premature baby was a pretty dicey situation. My parents allowed the doctors to do some lung treatments that at the time were still very new. I spent a long time in an incubator and had a feeding tube…the scar makes it look like I have two bellybuttons, which I used to think was super neat when I was a kid. All in all, I turned out fine. I have two kids of my own who were born healthy and on time. I guess I just wanted to share my somewhat serious story on this otherwise lighthearted thread just in case any other parents of preemies happen to read. Even if your baby is born ‘at a very young age’, there is hope that everything can be ok!

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I was also born three months prematurely. My Mom said that I was so desperate to be born in the same month as my older brother that I was coming out of her with my legs down as she was in the front passenger seat while my Dad was driving to the hospital. I was born with a weak heart muscle and grew up with a lot of health problems now. I’m wondering what my life would be like if I was born as a full-term baby instead of a premature baby.

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As a person that has married my bartender, dated another bartender before her, a waitress and have been both (a waiter and a bartender) I’d say that no, your job is not to flirt. It is to give good service in return for a tip. (Unless you stripping) However, there are people that make this their job thinking that this is a good way to make more tips. I can also say that this works from experience. But it does send the wrong signals and can be dangerous for both male and female servers. I am very happy my wife flirted with me the day we met.

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And I felt a huge relief when I found out she wasn’t flirting to just be a “tip tease” because I have met many. I know I had been one before. I still incredibly enjoy the friendly staff. Which is different from fast, attentive, and kind. I like to laugh with my server. I tip way more for this service than I did if you call me “honey” or wink at me. I think if your intentions aren’t to flirt, then don’t. It is just asking for trouble. Years ago I was a waitress at Johnny rockets in a popular tourist spot. This day, there was a metal show going on across the street in an abandoned church so lots of metalheads in.

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To be honest with you, it was pretty rough. I couldn’t talk, so I had a real tough time expressing myself. It got so frustrating I’d just cry and cry. Sometimes my mom or dad would be there for me, then they’d cover their face and completely disappear from my world. Also, I could not stop pooping myself, so no one respected me, consequently, they kept treating me like a baby. I’m so sorry about that experience. Seriously, it made me tear up just reading your story. Hopefully, that mental trauma didn’t follow you your entire life. You’ll be in my prayers tonight.

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When I was younger, I know a little younger, I was still older than most people my age. It was something instilled in me by my father. He was a very smart man a good man and rich and he always said Donny, you’re age is just an age, and I took that idea, and now years later I’m talking about it and realize, I’ve always been older than my age. And it gave me an advantage I think in some cases it did. An advantage that I was very good at using to my advantage. Very very good. It’s made me a lot of money.

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I think this is mostly directed towards people who always assume that just because their server/bartender is being nice that they’re flirting or interested. There are more people out there like this than you would think. I am a bartender and it makes me really uncomfortable when people ask me for my number or a date while I’m working. I can’t count how many times I’ve been stiffed or received a shitty tip because I didn’t give out my number or refused a date. People who have been drinking can be really aggressive about hitting on their bartender. I’ve even received a couple of nasty messages.

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Tell that to the bartender who was complaining that it was cold inside the bar while wearing a hoodie… Followed by a bunch of Army dudes walking in to play some pool which caused her to rush to the pool table to take orders. She came back with their drinks stripped down to a bra and asked if she could join in for a game, which she did while everyone else couldn’t order anything. Wait. So the hot waitress isn’t serving me because she likes me?

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I can only imagine how much money he has wasted. But as a customer, you have to follow the rules. Yes, someone might genuinely be flirting with you. Or you are misreading the situation and making their shift hell. Better safe than sorry. I had a coworker tell us one time the lady in the Verizon store was flirting. We asked how he knew, he said that she kept asking for his number. I started laughing and said “yeah dude, so she can look up your account! Now I wonder if after all these years I have had bartenders actually flirting with me and I completely ignored it.

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I used to know a guy that thought every female bartender or waitress had a thing for him so he’d go back a few times a week then get mad when they wouldn’t enjoy his advances and act like a total asshole to them every time wed go in. Totally ruined our friendship cuz I looked forward to our once a week “beer summits” where wed meet up once a week to bs about work and hang out. I wish I could wear a sign that says “Don’t worry I will tip you well, you don’t have to pretend to like me” but that seems a little dickish.

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To be honest, I’ve suppressed nearly every memory of the early period, but my parents tell me I avoided most activities, refused to speak, and spent much of my time crying. While I get this is supposed to be a funny one, I actually was born at a very young age…3 months premature! In 1987, a 3-month premature baby was a pretty dicey situation. My parents allowed the doctors to do some lung treatments that at the time were still very new. I spent a long time in an incubator and had a feeding tube…the scar makes it look like I have two bellybuttons, which I used to think was super neat when I was a kid. All in all, I turned out fine.

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I was also born three months prematurely. My Mom said that I was so desperate to be born in the same month as my older brother that I was coming out of her with my legs down as she was in the front passenger seat while my Dad was driving to the hospital. I was born with a weak heart muscle and grew up with a lot of health problems now. I’m wondering what my life would be like if I was born as a full-term baby instead of a premature baby.

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My girlfriend is a bartender. One time while I’ll be visiting her one of her regulars started talking to me. Wouldn’t you get jealous?” I said “Hell no. All these horny men are paying for my Christmas presents I should be thanking them.” This is true the majority of the time, agreed. But the time the waiter handed my boyfriend the check and me his personal phone number, I don’t think he was looking for “tips”.  Anyone who thinks the server is hitting on them is just dumb and they aren’t on subs like this getting tips on life.

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If you can’t afford to tip or aren’t planning to, then DON’T GO OUT. Simple as that. Also, don’t be an ass. Foodservice workers are people, and just like you, they make mistakes sometimes. If you are rude to your server or bartender or don’t tip. Every employee will know by the time you walk out the door. And they will remember you that way if you ever go back. So shit Sherlock. Next, you’re going to tell me that the gas peddle makes a cargo like a pro tip.

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Anecdotal but relevant: My current gf, soon-to-be fiance, and future wife was a bartender at my regular bar. She flirted with me. I liked her so we started talking. She stayed after her shift and, after talking for a few hours, I asked her if I could kiss her. She nodded yes. I’m gonna marry her. People flirt with people they find attractive; doesn’t matter if they are working or not. This goes for both heterosexual and homosexual people as well. Some guys/girls aren’t flipping the script so to speak.

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As someone who’s hooked up with their waitresses, that isn’t always the case. Just let them lead at first and don’t be a creeper. Also, I worked at a strip club as a cook and strippers do date and hook up with customers. There was a rule not to but there were rules against lots of things they didn’t follow. I mean, they MIGHT be flirting with you. Service-industry workers are people too. But you should have the self-awareness to tell the difference between the bartender.

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