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As a person that has married my bartender, dated another bartender before her, a waitress and have been both (a waiter and a bartender) I’d say that no, your job is not to flirt. It is to give good service in return for a tip. (Unless you stripping) However, there are people that make this their job thinking that this is a good way to make more tips. I can also say that this works from experience. But it does send the wrong signals and can be dangerous for both male and female servers. I am very happy my wife flirted with me the day we met.

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And I felt a huge relief when I found out she wasn’t flirting to just be a “tip tease” because I have met many. I know I had been one before. I still incredibly enjoy the friendly staff. Which is different from fast, attentive, and kind. I like to laugh with my server. I tip way more for this service than I did if you call me “honey” or wink at me. I think if your intentions aren’t to flirt, then don’t. It is just asking for trouble. Years ago I was a waitress at Johnny rockets in a popular tourist spot. This day, there was a metal show going on across the street in an abandoned church so lots of metalheads in.

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