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I will say that she’s a wonderful comfort for anyone openly hurting. One time, we were hanging with friends around a fire and one person stepped away to take a phone call. A few minutes later, I saw my dog sitting with my friend, getting pets and kisses. My friend came over and said “I just found out my aunt passed away. As I started to cry, your dog came over, pushed her head into my lap, and sat with me.

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ALWAYS playing with other dogs or saying hi to new people, unless someone is sad and crying then he follows you around and stares at you, OR someone is in a swimming pool because he has to save that person by biting them and dragging them out of the pool (doesn’t understand shallow ends exist). These are very important things to him. If neither of these things is happening, 100% all gas playtime all the time.

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I had a cat who was more outdoor than indoor and more the neighborhood cat than my cat. He didn’t lie to us and barely wanted our attention, but he apparently went into the neighbors’ houses and would sit with them and accept cuddles. Always figured that, because he was found, he never really accepted our 5 bedrooms colonial prison as a home.

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But then our dog got cancer and became very sick. The neighbors’ big dog got loose and come over to play with our dog. He knocked her over and started jumping on her and she SCREAMED in pain. All of a sudden, the cat zips out from under the car and attaches itself to the interloper’s face a la alien and began.

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The next thing I hear is my MIL screaming and the door banging, and the cat howling up a storm! She had forgotten her phone and tried to come in the side door instead of the front, and he decided that meant she was now a threat to me and the baby and bullied her right back out of the apartment! He had been on her lap 30mins ago lol

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We had a cat a couple of years back who was very friendly to everyone, loved cuddles, etc. Shortly after I had my son we had some family visit, and as they left I went to the bedroom to nurse him for a nap. I miss that cat every day. He adored all the kids and would just cuddle up to them all the time. But it sure scared my MIL to see him do that!

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I had an ancient dog who spent most of her later years impersonating a carpet. We truly believed she was stone deaf and mostly blind, but then someone who was working on our house tried to walk up the stairs to the attic room where I was sleeping (just a mistake, he wasn’t up to anything shady) and she just exploded barking at him, straight out of an apparent coma. It was quite sweet to realize she had actually been keeping an eye on us all that time and knew.

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We had an old German shepherd like that. Spent most of his time sitting like a bump on a lump. I was out late one night and tried to sneak into the house. Turns out Elvis was on security duty. In the dim light seeing 100lbs of glowing eyes, snarling teeth, and fur coming at me I about shit my pants. Luckily he stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he caught my scent and then went right back to snoozing.

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Let’s use a sports example. Trans women have an insane advantage over cis women because of the testosterone they produce. Should they then be allowed to compete in women’s sports? Saying no would invalidate them and make it easier to claim they aren’t actually women but saying yes would then interfere with cis women and their accomplishments. It’s even more complicated than just hormones too. Because we can (and do) regulate those for sports and when transitioning. But something like biological males having higher lung capacities and vo2 maxes means a trans female will always have some level of advantage in sports requiring cardio.

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But it doesn’t invalidate who they are at all though either. We bar people without legs from running with the ski prosthetics against people with biological legs because it offers a significant advantage as well. It doesn’t take anything away from who they are, it’s just different. Sports are kinda just fucked on that for the foreseeable future. To be fair a great many chemical things that haven’t made it to the rulebook but aré likely detrimental are done to most competitors at the highest level of any sport, it’s all subjective anyway what sort of natural or artificial advantages we want to allow or care about in entertainment.

And it isn’t transphobic to say that, or believe that, because.. well, it’s true. It isn’t a dog whistle always, and it isn’t necessarily transphobic just because some people use it that way. And it pushes away trans-allies who happen to be scientifically minded – and that they become “transphobic” because they won’t concede the point and pretend that cis and trans women are the same sex and gender… just ignores reality. How is the “biology argument” a gateway way to more dangerous ideas? That’s only from one perspective. It’s not as if the argument is baseless it’s just ya know fact. Be all means I understand though I just don’t get why saying the truth is wrong.

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Hopping on this comment to ask this. Ok so in my personal opinion I consider transexual kind of like a mental illness (and that isn’t a negative thing! mental illness shouldn’t be stigmatized. I get how it can sound like a dog whistle but that isn’t the way I’m using it) Like if someone is anorexic you wouldn’t give them surgery to help them lose more weight. If someone has a distorted image of themselves shouldn’t you help counsel them to accept who they are instead? Like it’s not the same as conversion therapy…

I mean it’s really all just a back and forth. In my experience, the “trans women and cis women are different because…” conversation comes up when the ultra-SJW crowds make assertions that cis women are the exact same as trans women, and acknowledging anything else is offensive. I mean Twitter is a wild breeding ground for facetious statements that get taken seriously and snowball into a biology lesson all because someone made a tweet like “if you don’t date trans women you don’t actually like women” and then a group of cis women feels attacked by it and it goes from there.

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Sex and gender are not tied at all, that’s very true. Gender only exists because of dualities.. but not to be rude, you are entirely ignoring the group of people who are not transphobic and are trans-allies, but still know that there is a difference between trans women and cis women – and that is their actual sex. They have the same gender, but biologically, and factually, they aren’t the same – that is one has a female reproductive system or most of it as well as female hormone dominant and the other doesn’t have a female reproductive system and wasn’t female hormone dominant until beginning HRT.

 

 

I think it goes beyond biology as well, the way a cisgender woman grows up in society vs the way a transgender woman grows up is very different and can affect them greatly. There is nature and nurture differences between cisgender and transgender women that can’t be ignored but somehow it’s offensive to point out. It’s true. I believe there is a bit of a misconception about how offensive these things really are. I personally find and believe the backlash is again, due to those conversations usually only being had to invalidate the person or to force them to explain their identity.

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It also upsets people because, as I mentioned in my above post, people get defensive because it’s pointing out a fact that they already know. Many trans people already know their biology is not identical to their cis counterparts as well as socially their experiences differ. It becomes a problem because those conversations are generally had, not to come to an understanding, but to discredit or discriminate against trans people, hence their defensiveness.

I’m Central Asian and Central Asians only arrived in the west after the fall of the Soviet Union. Growing up, I was explicitly told we shouldn’t talk about racism outside of our community because we’d come off ungrateful to Canada or that we were being ungrateful since many Central Asians came to the west as refugees.

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We also just don’t know how to talk about racism in the west. Many older people are very comfortable talking about racism in Central Asia but aren’t really sure how to talk about racism in Canada and so younger people don’t learn how to talk about the racism they experience. Sometimes you’ll hear people recount racism as an annoying experience.

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Exactly this. To add to this, though, there’s a matter of historical context. We’ve at least gotten far enough for White people to at least subconsciously be aware that most Black people are just as American as they are; we were brought here almost as soon as colonization began, and so this is our home, too.

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Unfortunately, even if you’re born here, any other race is seen still as not “from” here, and so the jokes flow. Then when you add in cultural rules of “not rocking the boat,” many assume that those cultures are cool with it.

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Also half Japanese, and I don’t take this shit lying down. I’m proud of my heritage. I live semi-rural and work with a lot of closeted racists, and whenever one of them says some off the wall shit I make sure to make it really awkward for them real quick. I get that the culture says to fall in line, but I’m not going to be someone’s joke because I’m supposed to toe the line.

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Now, I’m older than most (the 40s), my grandparents were in WW2, so the times were different. My father likely had a bit of PTSD from growing up Japanese under a military WW2 veteran, where the threat of internment was real. However, this is an example in support of what was said above. “Fit in, do what you’re told, be American, and you’ll be ok”.

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