I feel like you are just assuming everything is about you. “Omg, she hates us because we’re in an interracial relationship…blah blah blah.” Maybe you have a bad vibe or negative energy about yourself and she didn’t want anything to do with that. Your post is laced heavily with the whole “look at me a white woman dating a brown guy, give me attention because of that” kinda vibe going on.
I wasn’t there, so I don’t know all the details, but I have had this thing happen to me many times and I am pretty darn white. Is it possible that the hostess just sucked at her job and didn’t really care? I doubt the kitchen would do something different to his food as well as intentionally. How would they even know? That is a lot of racism. not only that, the hostess usually doesn’t ring in orders and the kitchen doesn’t see customers. Did someone go back there and tell them to leave the upgrade off? (Maybe I misunderstood this part of the story though and you weren’t stating this was also part of the racism) Plus, why would they put it on the ticket and then leave it off?