I’m in an interracial marriage. I’m Asian (brown skin) and she’s white. She’s just like you. Doesn’t realize the hate till I point it out. We have to pick our battles because it doesn’t take much to put your life in danger in certain parts of America. I’m overly cautious with her because she doesn’t deserve any malicious intent from anyone.
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As the brown part of an interracial relationship myself, it can be hard to point it out. I and my partner grew up completely different, he never had to pick up on matters of the race very much and I had to be hyper-aware of it. Sometimes I feel like I’m maybe being too sensitive when I point something out that he doesn’t think might have been racist. But he doesn’t notice all the quiet stares that I see. We live in a relatively liberal place so I don’t notice it much while we are in our hometown, but we are currently staying in the town he grew up in, 95% white.