Tell them a bunch of bullshit stories about your parents, you were born in Singapore, lived a year in Germany, have a half-sister in Hungary, you understand three languages but speak only one, you’re on your third marriage, you were once part of a cult, you believed in Jesus once but now know that his followers are all lizard people, you are against gays but you don’t mind anal sex with another man you are against scissoring but don’t mind lesbian porn, you’d vote for Trump because we need to accelerate the apocalypse because we will all
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Tell them the earth is flat on a spherical planet and that only certain minds can understand that, we live in a simulation but we have to keep thinking it is a conspiracy unless we want it to end, I am not real and none of this is real …… then just drop to the ground and pretend you have a seizure ….. If you’ve let your wife into the game, she’ll come to your writhing body screaming at the neighbor
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