Then about a half-hour in, I asked him if he was alright with me taking off my mask so I could be more comfortable and he immediately made a sigh of relief and said something like “oh no of course not! you’re gettin’ that vibe that I don’t care, right? go right ahead hon” and his attitude did a complete 180. he was all of a sudden very nice to me, explaining in detail what he was doing so I understood (instead of just looking annoyed and being short while I asked questions) and started asking me about my job and what I was going to do that week, yadda yadda yadda…
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I think I heard a quote that said, “We don’t live in a free country if your freedom depends on the oppression of others”. Made me think through a different lens of privilege. I knew it existed and I knew I benefit from it, but when you have to shrink yourself to avoid conflict on the behalf of a marginalized person (BIPOC, woman, lgbtq+, etc.), it’s but a crumb of what they have had to experience and think about every day. I’m sorry that happened to you and your husband. It’s happened to me too.