What if some family members are offended at not being in the wedding and take it out on the new wife or what if they just don´t get along. It sucks for the new wife and stepkid because they don´t have anyone to stand up for them but also for the daughter whose birthday party gets soured by the situation. Reasonable, but you can still use the comparison as a rhetorical weapon.
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That is to say, when she complains about not being accommodated at your birthday, you can reply, “You didn’t even invite me to your wedding, and you’re demanding accommodation so you can attend my birthday? It’s not my fault you booked a trip — if you really cared to be there, you could cancel it.” And when she says she’d be out X amount of money, you just reply, “True. But you could cancel it.
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