The only thing I can think to explain it is that growing up, his family tried to pass for white as much as possible, given the social advantages that came with it. Granted, his mom was the only one who could pass, by a mile, but somehow it worked, and so he grew up in an otherwise strictly white neighborhood. Still. The level of cognitive dissonance is required to make it to sixty not realizing that he isn’t, in fact, white, is absolutely legendary.
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Based on this new information, homeboy is now facing the same realization, that many instances in his life that he chalked up to rudeness may have been a little something else. My poor dear mother, on the other hand, has been using her privilege to get him out of jams for decades now, meanwhile, homeboy didn’t even realize he was in a jam.