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We did not have a house or kids and the divorce was rather simple. I went on to get married again and have 3 incredible kids I would never have had otherwise. The entire experience taught me a lot about the power of forgiveness (admittedly, it took me too long to learn this lesson) and I have a pretty great life today. If you are currently going through something similar, please know that life can and does get better! 🙂 Thank you all again and, while I watched Breaking Bad, I really never made the connection to me so many of these comments have me laughing out loud!

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I think I knew for a while, but I finally admitted it after I had left. He was abusive and it happened so slowly that I didn’t see it. It’s almost like being lulled to sleep. It started emotionally before I married him. Then by about 6 months in the physical abuse had started. Shortly after, it progressed to sexual abuse as well. Long story short, a close friend saw some bruising. She was concerned and went to my parents. My dad confronted my ex and basically forced me to leave with them.

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Oh god, this exact same thing happened at a wedding I attended about a week ago. She also ran around announcing to everyone that she “has to speak for her husband because he’s so awkward! He doesn’t know how to mingle”- right in front him. Poor dude looked so uncomfortable the entire time. When I was about to leave she made a joke about how it probably won’t last because “he’s so shy and weird” but then assured me that it won’t happen because they’re both too religious for divorce… ugh.

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Holy crap, woke up to an awful lot of really nice notes! Thank you everyone and to those who gifted silver and gold! I am going to try to respond directly to some folks but I will say this here: This happened about 25 years ago (yes, I am an old guy). It really sucked at the time … the day I found out I was a few months into both major surgeries and then daily radiation treatment, I was down to about 118 from my normal 155lbs. But, as it turned out, it was really a good thing.

 

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My dad made a big deal when my siblings and I were each engaged that, if we weren’t sure about going through with it, we could call it off at any time. Even in the back of the church when the ceremony was starting, he checked with us to verify we still wanted to do it. I always knew I wanted to go through with it, but it’s still nice to really know it was my decision and not something I was pushed into. And I know plenty of people who weren’t really sure but felt like it was too late to change their minds.

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On the wedding day. He was angry and his family was abusive to my side for not doing ‘enough’ to entertain them. They were expecting dowry and lots of gifts (I am Indian) n since it wasn’t up to their expectations they made my life a living hell for a month. I decided 1 month is enough. It wasn’t too late to put an end to it. we made plans for her to move from NC to TX to join me, as I’m in the military and CANT move. 3 times I brought it up, 3 times she said she just needed more time to move. finally the 4th time she said she couldn’t leave her friends and family to move across the country to start our lives together.

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I knew it was a mistake about two months into our engagement. I actually broke up with her for a week but didn’t tell anyone other than my parents. Something just didn’t feel right. She ended up begging me every single day and I just felt really bad and got back with her. We pretended like it never happened. Got married 9 months later and she ended up cheating on me a little over a year into our marriage. I still don’t fucking understand her logic behind all that but whatever. It’s done and I’ve moved on but I’ll never understand why she wanted me back so badly and did that not even two years later.

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Edit: Jeez, thanks guys and gals for the kind words and chats. If you’re going through a rough patch, it does get better! One day at a time. I’ve remarried and we’re planning on starting a family soon. Would’ve never imagined rebuilding after what happened with my ex. Keep the faith and things will turn around. Knew before we even got married. Spoke about how I thought it didn’t feel right with my family a couple of months before the big day but was told it was just cold feet and we’d be fine after the wedding. Almost a year later I was still miserable so I left. Was an absolute shit storm but SO worth it.

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Not me but my dad. He got back from his honeymoon and went back to work. He came home and something felt off when he walked in the door. She wasn’t there when he got home from work, which was very odd for her since she got off work earlier than him and was always home when he got back. When she got back he mentioned that it was out-of-the-ordinary that she had been out and asked if she went somewhere.

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He wasn’t accusatory, just curious because it never happened, but she dodged his questions at first. Eventually, after he got suspicious of her dodging a simple question, she admitted that she’d quit her job, and when he asked why, she said she didn’t need to work. So she was planning on using him as her cash cow. He doesn’t remember how the conversation went exactly since it was 30 years ago.

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We thought they were the perfect couple! They got along great and yes, it seemed like they were communicating and really focused on their future. They were both in sync that they were going to live in the city, and had no desire to move out to the ranch, but I guess my bro never thought to ask, “Are you going to make me abandon my family once we’re married” LOL. And as for why she never mentioned her crazy ideas – who knows. Looking back, it did turn out that her 2 sisters had that kind of relationship w their husbands, where they spent all the holidays with w/the sisters’ family. But in one case, the husband was from out of the country, and in the other, he was not close to his family, so it was just by default they were at wives’ family for holidays. I guess Laura just thought that’s how it was going to go for her, too.

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Abusive relationships especially. It’s remarkable what you begin to think is normal or is your own fault. My son’s dad would threaten me, call me horrible names, tell me I was fat and useless and ugly. He told me he would kill me if I ever went for full custody. And for a long time, I actually believed I was the one who was a bad partner. I felt like I deserved his treatment of me. It still fucks with me mentally, and I’ve been out for over 5 years. And honestly, the only reason I got out was to protect my son.

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The next morning, we have a send-off breakfast for the couple, they head to the airport for their honeymoon. My mom and bride’s mom are visiting afterward and the bride’s mom mentions she’s glad my mom had no hard feelings that her daughter and my brother will no longer be coming out to the ranch. My mom is like, What do you mean? Bride’s mom says, Oh, I thought “Laura,” told you that having the wedding here was her gift to you to have your son home one last time with all his family here. My mom goes white as a sheet.

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Needless to say, the honeymoon never happens. It turns out that his wife had been hiding her belief that that man leaves his family behind and becomes part of the woman’s family. It was fully her intent to never visit my parents again, to spend all holidays at her parent’s home, to have any future children only have relationships with her family, and on and on. My brother literally had no idea these were her beliefs/desires. To this day I don’t know if she was evil or just clueless. They remained married for about a month until the divorce was final, but my bro never saw her again after the day-after-wedding-day.

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Nothing has actually changed yet. I am glad they have found happiness even if it is just from something they saw on Twitter or the news without anything actually changing. Imagine if it were always as easy as simply changing you’re! Wasn’t the whole point of promoting mail-in ballots, to prevent people from flocking together at the polling stations? Perhaps it’s because I’m a weird European, but this seems to defeat that purpose. Congratulations to all the people out there partying on the streets. You have just no reverse card yourself. It upsets me that people aren’t wearing their masks their, like cool I like that Biden won too, but I rather not end up in the hospital because of a victory party.

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It’s great that we’ve voted out a tyrant, but let’s not forget about the 200k+ people who didn’t get to see this win, and let’s not forget we’ve got three months before there’s going to be any governmental address of the virus. It’s still on us to stay safe and ensure we aren’t inadvertently getting one another killed by the plague.ro Biden here but I agree. This is ridiculous. Biden should have said something in his speech yesterday. He should have told people to stay home. Celebrate on social media and keep social distancing.

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They are so convinced that nothing is what it seems in a desperate attempt to think they are smarter than everyone else. The worst part is, when this doesn’t come to fruition, there is no moment of realization where they think, ‘huh, maybe he was just telling us what to do for our own benefit.’ Nope, they’ll be too busy stumbling down the next insane rabbit hole to reflect on their flawed, backward thinking. Wait until they read the gospel. Jesus Christ, they are so far away from the messages of the root of their religion. Hell, wait until they read literally everything in Catholic Social Teaching over the past 60 years.

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“Just as the commandment ‘Thou shalt not kill’ sets a clear limit in order to safeguard the value of human life, today we also have to say ‘thou shalt not’ to an economy of exclusion and inequality. Such an economy kills. How can it be that it is not a news item when an elderly homeless person dies of exposure, but it is news when the stock market loses two points?” – Pope Francis, “In many respects, democratic socialism was and is close to Catholic social doctrine and has, in any case, made a remarkable contribution to the formation of social consciousness.

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She was still trying to get, and spending money on classes for, a community college degree. She was somehow convinced that this would change her life. she had put $1000 into a mutual fund seven years earlier, and got a good rate of return. So she now had $2000. She was confused. It apparently never occurred to her that you have to invest more or keep putting money in.

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I dated a girl in high school and into college for a bit. She was the Valedictorian of our high school, 4.0 GPA, got into Rice University, super smart girl all around. Now I consider myself to be a pretty smart person, not like genius-level or anything, but I graduated college with a 3.5 GPA and can hold my own in intelligent conversation

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One of the most nefarious tactics pushed by people with an anti-environmentalist interest is that it’s all up to individual consumers to make a change. Don’t like global warming? Stop driving, eat less meat, etc, just don’t get the government involved. When really the only viable option is sweeping reform at national levels to change the entire way we source energy’s literally impossible to live sustainably today without nuclear. Unless you plan on living like a rural Indian.Except it’s not dangerous at all if they’re built correctly. Yes, it’s time-consuming and expensive but that’s because we’re trying to avoid another Chernobyl.

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And what else is expensive? Climate change. I hate how when it comes to any topic that isn’t nuclear power, activists will say no cost is too great. But once nuclear is on the table, suddenly costs matter. If socialized nuclear prevent climate change, then let’s do that. And I also like how the argument has recently shifted to ‘not enough time’ implying that two things can’t be done at once and that once that time frame passes they won’t still be saying the same thing. It should be noted that Nuclear is often brought up as a perfect option for a consumption problem. There will HAVE to be sacrificed, even with nuclear power. There is no solution that involves giving up no conveniences. Be ready for that, start now.

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