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So you take half your breaths and invest them in a dividend balloon, and then suck those breaths out once a month. If I do the math, that’s 1.44/7744e 10 centigrade breaths per lumen. Enough breaths to power a small but deadly snail for ten thousand years. I would take the billion dollars and use the extra covalent energy from needing to expand and contract my lungs to power a small wind farm, and by selling the green energy produced thereby, never have to touch my dividend. In fact, nobody would probably ever touch my dividend again.

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That means that in a typical day to and from work (40 minutes), I generally hit 10 green lights; averaging 30 seconds each, I save a grand total of 300 seconds, or 5 minutes, driving through green lights that would otherwise be red. If I were to take this deal, then over the course of a workweek that’s 25 minutes lost to red lights that would’ve otherwise been green. Between my house and job, about a 20 minute drive, are ten traffic lights. I breeze through green lights at around 50% of the time. When I have to sit at a red, let’s call it an average wait of 30 seconds – sometimes much shorter, sometimes much longer, but a decent average.


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