I don’t know how serious you are with your bf, but this is a step back. This is your money, and you can do what you want, but you shouldn’t be using it as a tool to control your bf. He doesn’t seem to be using your money when he shouldn’t, so this is a bad punishment in and of itself. Don’t let money be the root of your problems when you are rich or poor. I’m assuming he only made the mistake once, and the news just spread. I understand you want him to fully understand the repercussions. I don’t have a quick and easy way, other than making him the point of contact and not you. Maybe after a few more calls, where he has to say no, he will understand.
NTA but why on EARTH would you give him access to this money? This isn’t like your paycheck where you conceivably split expenses. He couldn’t even stand up to a yes or no question. He didn’t have to tell his family. He knew what would happen. He can’t be trusted with this. Isn’t it crazy that you can find someone you trust with your life before you trust them with your money? People who otherwise seem like they love you get brand new ideas when a lump sum is involved. But you’re going to learn from this, right?