In my experience, I used to kind of pre-answer the question to give them an out. Asking creates an obligation to answer. I felt uncomfortable forcing an obligation onto others, even if trivial, necessary, or expected. I would still wait for an answer but I think the “allow” part is more in regard to the pre-answer. “Hey, do you want to hang out Friday?… Because it’s totally cool if you have other plans or don’t feel like it or you’re not sure or whatever. I know it’s last-minute notice too.” (Pause for response)
Living in a house with 3 people who have many different sleep schedules than my own has made this key for me. We’re all playing games and I can see that I need to sleep because I have work in the morning. They’ll keep playing till early in the morning. I mean. Nothing wrong with using the word you feel best describes yourself? But if your goal was to become comfortable using the term lesbian then that’s awesome!
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