This is what’s bothering me. Why it isn’t he the one telling his family to back off. He needs to learn how to do that, otherwise, his family will come straight to you every time they “need something” for you and you’ll be left dealing with his parents/sister every time. What’s going to happen in the future when either of you gets a really good job? This isn’t a one-time thing, it’ll keep happening if he doesn’t stand up to his own family. You’ll end up being the bad guy all the time and it’s not fair to put you in that situation. Your NTA. I’m only offended because he told his sister to begin with after he says he felt cornered but then tells me that I should just say no. It seems like a double standard. Like, he avoids confrontation but he is completely okay with me being faced with it after I specifically told him not to tell anyone.
NTA. It’s your money. He is ignoring your wishes. Also, everyone else sucks too, grabbing at your money. It’s not even like you won the lottery. You have enough money to be sensible and spend on the things listed above, but it’s not millions and you don’t have the capacity to help everyone even if you wanted to. Even if it were the lotto, it’s YOUR money. Tell everyone else to back off and ask your boyfriend to explain that all of the money is earmarked for specific purposes and would not be lent or given to any friends or family members.