I knew someone who wanted to be a dad (he alleged) but he loved his hot tub — so he would put ice around his balls in the bike shorts he wore in the hot tub. His wife way super angry about this, esp. since her clock was running out. They never conceived and ended up adopting two kids. There has to be a joke in here about Japanese hot tubs, opens, being the root cause of Japan’s declining birthrate.
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Try switching to a healthier diet, cutting out things like beer and pizza, and getting some exercise in should speed up the process by quite a bit, I’ve heard from people that always thought they were infertile but were able to have kids after making changes in their nutrition and activity The image of boiled sperm is disturbing and hilarious. Do they just start swimming around frantically as the temperature increases?