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This is a good general rule to follow, but I worked as a bartender for years, both I and my coworkers were hitting on customers all the time. Sure, you’d flirt with people you were not interested in because it’s part of the job, but I brought home a lot of girls after work. Just don’t be weird and read the room. I was at the big boy once, in a suit and tie, getting some breakfast, looking super suave. The waitress took my order came back and sat across from me in the booth and talked to me for like 15 minutes. Asked if I wanted her number and my dumbass was like “Why?”. The look she gave me was indescribable.

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She was super cute and I’m an idiot but I was nervous because I was on my way to report to my probation officer. One of those things I think about while I’m trying to sleep at night. My shame has prevented me from ever returning to that big boy. Its been like 5 years. One of my regular bartenders and I really made people wonder. Guys that were interested in her would ask me if there was really something romantic between us.

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I mean, yea don’t be a dick to your wait staff and think they want to get in bed with you and not just a better tip, but don’t lie about how some people are earning their tips. You say that but I’ve got numbers and subsequently hooked up with a number of bartenders while they were on the job. I’ve tried explaining this to a friend before, but he said that she’s definitely into him. This is a conversation that has happened many times. I already knew this, but apparently waitresses have flirted with me and I thought they were doing their job. My friends are stunned at how oblivious/skeptical I am about flirting.

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I see what you’re saying but sometimes I definitely feel like I’m being flirted with. I’ve gotten discounts from waitresses that seem into me for being a ‘good customer’ a couple of times. It could just be because I’m a great guy but I’d like to think it’s also because I’m cute. Took a long time to understand that, but I understood in my COVID break! That why I didn’t look back to waiter. I’m a bartender, and so damn extroverted that I LOVE the interaction with others.

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Never try to reciprocate any perceived flirting, ever, got it. Standard MO, got it. Cooking for yourself is cheaper and healthier anyway. When I was a server I absolutely hit on everyone. Men, women, if you sat in my section I was talking you up. An oasis in a desert of entitled customers that don’t tip. Flirting with service industry folk is simple: read the room. If someone is in any way unreceptive, immediately stop. Also to the flipside, being called “honey, sweetie, darling, sugar, beautiful, handsome” almost always come across.

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Waiters/bartenders flirt all the time to get more tips, it’s just fake. And some of them are very convincing. Your bartender may very well be flirting with you. Please disregard this. The bartender here, please don’t ruin one of the few good parts of my job. I dealt with enough assholes throughout the night that girls genuinely flirting with me every. Don’t be a disgusting creep, it kinda tends to make people unreceptive. Oh and don’t flirt JUST for the extra booze or free booze. It’s incredibly easy to see through that nonsense.

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Your waiter/bartender isn’t flirting with you, they are just being polite, well mannered. And making small talk with a stranger. These practices are becoming less common over time and modern-day is so boring, lonesome, and rude that you are not used to it. I always assume bartenders are humoring me for a larger tip. I’m occasionally somewhat entertaining before the drinks kick in. When the drinks kick in, I am obligated to cease bothering my bartender and engage with other tipsy patrons. Isn’t the confusion because there are articles that say your voice is higher.

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This works on so many older, often creepier dudes who have money and time to spend at these establishments. They feel like hotshots and the ladies tending to them know exactly what they are doing. Never saw a bartender or waiter job description saying to flirt. So don’t do it if you don’t mean it. It’s just manipulative and taking advantage of people. Maybe if you work at hooters or a strip club as the exception. But otherwise, you are just being dishonest and manipulative.

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I am into metal as well so I start converting with my table about different bands and complemented one fella on his donkey kong shirt. Both were very nice but very very flirty. I was flattered but not interested. After they left I was bussing my table and I found a note saying that we need to get drinks and other things along those lines. Wrapped in the note was $75. It was a nice gesture. But puts you in a weird situation where you don’t want to hurt their feeling. Lead them on by calling but you are not interested in the slightest and don’t owe them other than a thank you.

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image. I was talking to my manager when a group of guys came in. One guy told my manager and me to get back to work. My manager got lippy with him and I told him I would take care of them. I walk up to the guy that made the comment and asked if I could help him find anything. He responded with “you can help me find your number.” I told him I was in a relationship and that’s not how I operate.

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While I get this is supposed to be a funny one, I actually was born at a very young age…3 months premature! In 1987, a 3-month premature baby was a pretty dicey situation. My parents allowed the doctors to do some lung treatments that at the time were still very new. I spent a long time in an incubator and had a feeding tube…the scar makes it look like I have two bellybuttons, which I used to think was super neat when I was a kid. All in all, I turned out fine. I have two kids of my own who were born healthy and on time. I guess I just wanted to share my somewhat serious story on this otherwise lighthearted thread just in case any other parents of preemies happen to read. Even if your baby is born ‘at a very young age’, there is hope that everything can be ok!

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I was also born three months prematurely. My Mom said that I was so desperate to be born in the same month as my older brother that I was coming out of her with my legs down as she was in the front passenger seat while my Dad was driving to the hospital. I was born with a weak heart muscle and grew up with a lot of health problems now. I’m wondering what my life would be like if I was born as a full-term baby instead of a premature baby.

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As a person that has married my bartender, dated another bartender before her, a waitress and have been both (a waiter and a bartender) I’d say that no, your job is not to flirt. It is to give good service in return for a tip. (Unless you stripping) However, there are people that make this their job thinking that this is a good way to make more tips. I can also say that this works from experience. But it does send the wrong signals and can be dangerous for both male and female servers. I am very happy my wife flirted with me the day we met.

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And I felt a huge relief when I found out she wasn’t flirting to just be a “tip tease” because I have met many. I know I had been one before. I still incredibly enjoy the friendly staff. Which is different from fast, attentive, and kind. I like to laugh with my server. I tip way more for this service than I did if you call me “honey” or wink at me. I think if your intentions aren’t to flirt, then don’t. It is just asking for trouble. Years ago I was a waitress at Johnny rockets in a popular tourist spot. This day, there was a metal show going on across the street in an abandoned church so lots of metalheads in.

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To be honest with you, it was pretty rough. I couldn’t talk, so I had a real tough time expressing myself. It got so frustrating I’d just cry and cry. Sometimes my mom or dad would be there for me, then they’d cover their face and completely disappear from my world. Also, I could not stop pooping myself, so no one respected me, consequently, they kept treating me like a baby. I’m so sorry about that experience. Seriously, it made me tear up just reading your story. Hopefully, that mental trauma didn’t follow you your entire life. You’ll be in my prayers tonight.

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When I was younger, I know a little younger, I was still older than most people my age. It was something instilled in me by my father. He was a very smart man a good man and rich and he always said Donny, you’re age is just an age, and I took that idea, and now years later I’m talking about it and realize, I’ve always been older than my age. And it gave me an advantage I think in some cases it did. An advantage that I was very good at using to my advantage. Very very good. It’s made me a lot of money.

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I think this is mostly directed towards people who always assume that just because their server/bartender is being nice that they’re flirting or interested. There are more people out there like this than you would think. I am a bartender and it makes me really uncomfortable when people ask me for my number or a date while I’m working. I can’t count how many times I’ve been stiffed or received a shitty tip because I didn’t give out my number or refused a date. People who have been drinking can be really aggressive about hitting on their bartender. I’ve even received a couple of nasty messages.

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Tell that to the bartender who was complaining that it was cold inside the bar while wearing a hoodie… Followed by a bunch of Army dudes walking in to play some pool which caused her to rush to the pool table to take orders. She came back with their drinks stripped down to a bra and asked if she could join in for a game, which she did while everyone else couldn’t order anything. Wait. So the hot waitress isn’t serving me because she likes me?

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I can only imagine how much money he has wasted. But as a customer, you have to follow the rules. Yes, someone might genuinely be flirting with you. Or you are misreading the situation and making their shift hell. Better safe than sorry. I had a coworker tell us one time the lady in the Verizon store was flirting. We asked how he knew, he said that she kept asking for his number. I started laughing and said “yeah dude, so she can look up your account! Now I wonder if after all these years I have had bartenders actually flirting with me and I completely ignored it.

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I used to know a guy that thought every female bartender or waitress had a thing for him so he’d go back a few times a week then get mad when they wouldn’t enjoy his advances and act like a total asshole to them every time wed go in. Totally ruined our friendship cuz I looked forward to our once a week “beer summits” where wed meet up once a week to bs about work and hang out. I wish I could wear a sign that says “Don’t worry I will tip you well, you don’t have to pretend to like me” but that seems a little dickish.

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To be honest, I’ve suppressed nearly every memory of the early period, but my parents tell me I avoided most activities, refused to speak, and spent much of my time crying. While I get this is supposed to be a funny one, I actually was born at a very young age…3 months premature! In 1987, a 3-month premature baby was a pretty dicey situation. My parents allowed the doctors to do some lung treatments that at the time were still very new. I spent a long time in an incubator and had a feeding tube…the scar makes it look like I have two bellybuttons, which I used to think was super neat when I was a kid. All in all, I turned out fine.

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I was also born three months prematurely. My Mom said that I was so desperate to be born in the same month as my older brother that I was coming out of her with my legs down as she was in the front passenger seat while my Dad was driving to the hospital. I was born with a weak heart muscle and grew up with a lot of health problems now. I’m wondering what my life would be like if I was born as a full-term baby instead of a premature baby.