They’re acting entitled to your husband’s semen, which is a problem in and of itself. It was one thing to ask when he was a single guy, but he’s married now. Decisions are made through the partnership, your feelings on the subject do matter whether they like it or not. If they want their sons to be related so badly, then it’s well within their power to give their next son the same mom. Arguably their reasons are just as selfish. Vivian wants to experience birth, so that means your feelings don’t matter? No, that’s not how that works. Their actions are theirs alone. Your husband is on your side. Your feelings make sense. That they threw it in your face that it’s not “their fault you’re not pregnant” is fucking bullshit.
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I feel like this brings up the points I wanted to make. With the one exception to this being that the lesbian couple “restricting time” just seems like not hanging out with your friends who you are upset with at the time. Obviously, OP’s family has gotten used to the child because he’s around a lot (because things are normally cool, and things have deteriorated now). Like I don’t see how this wouldn’t naturally happen during an argument like this. Now we are internet strangers and this has been vague. So OP, please consider are these people typically give other humans space when they’re upset about something, at least I do. So consider that this may be happening.