Because you’re from Ireland you go and get your leprechaun mates and they help you drag his fat body down to the River Shannon where you all use him as a raft to get to the bottom of the rainbow where the leprechaun’s pot of gold is… You jump into the pot of gold and it teleports you and you’re mates to see Mrs. Claus break the bad news. Turns out she is pished in bed with one of the elves!!!!
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As a Jew, I would first be very confused as to why he’s here. Then I would be very confused because our fireplace has a screen in front bc the wood is fake. Then I would be very confused as to why he wouldn’t have checked. Then I’d wonder why he doesn’t have any protection from that.