Also the “it’s not their fault she’s not pregnant” becomes true when OP said that to them. OP, you’ve been upset at this whole situation for a long time and honestly, you should have really addressed those feelings with your husband before getting married, but all marriages are made up of humans so same thing. OP, the situation sounds more nuanced than this sub is going to be able to answer in a lot of ways. The short is that you’re NTA for not wanting your husband to be a sperm donor. The friends feel entitled to your husband’s sperm and more than anything, this is probably your husband’s fault for not making it clear that this was a one and done the thing before. Although, there is a good chance that your husband did the opposite of that, which could have further pushed this recent attitude/behavior from them.
Selfish how? Because he prioritized his marriage relationship? Because OP and husband didn’t do what you did? He is allowed to say no about access to his body, and just bc he helped them previously it doesn’t mean that he cannot change his mind down the line – consent. And just bc you and your husband were ok with donating eggs and sperm, doesn’t mean all partners should also be ok with it. Yes, it was the husband’s choice – OP didn’t force him to say no. She let her feelings be known on the subject, and he decided to respect his wife’s feelings.