100% this. My husband’s job kept him away from home up to 70% of the time. The first time he told me (on his first leave after we got married) that he wanted to go away for 4 days with his friends, it hurt a little because I didn’t understand why he didn’t want to be with me, but the second his friends showed up at our house at 3:30 in the morning to load up the gear and all the food we’d prepared, I got it. They were SO excited to be heading out and so joyful and refreshed and ready to tackle another day when they got home. They all had really hard jobs that put them through a lot and they needed that time together to decompress.
Years ago, my wife’s best friend’s sister became the manager of a bar in my town. She invited my wife to come in one weekend night with the enticement that all drinks would be on the house. She included me in the invite, but mostly to be polite; she didn’t really know me, and she didn’t think I’d come. Because it was a gay bar. I will say this: the clientele of that establishment was the most chill bunch of barflies I’ve ever seen in my life. I had a few dudes trying to flirt, and the moment they found out I was straight and there with my wife they were not only 100% respectful, they were all over themselves telling me how much I was to be admired. Apparently a straight guy being comfortable drinking in a gay bar is something of a unicorn. If I’d actually drank all the drinks sent to our table I’d have been in the ER that night.