A lot of people struggle with saying no. I used to struggle with it as well. I got a lot of advice to “be unapologetic. You don’t owe anyone anything. You don’t have to give a reason to say no.” That is stupid advice. That is obviously going to harm your relationships. Instead, I realized that “most” people are reasonable. I present my case in a way that the other person can understand and explain why I need to say no. Almost everyone understands and does not want to put you in a difficult situation.
Thank you for this-I still struggle tremendously with saying no and it’s got me into things in the past that I look at now and regret. I try to tell myself like you mentioned, that you don’t owe anyone anything. But I just can’t help but be scared to hurt someone’s feelings Yeah, there’s a balance between being helpful and being a doormat. Being of service shouldn’t mean being treated like a servant.