Your waiter/bartender isn’t flirting with you, they are just being polite, well mannered. And making small talk with a stranger. These practices are becoming less common over time and modern-day is so boring, lonesome, and rude that you are not used to it. I always assume bartenders are humoring me for a larger tip. I’m occasionally somewhat entertaining before the drinks kick in. When the drinks kick in, I am obligated to cease bothering my bartender and engage with other tipsy patrons. Isn’t the confusion because there are articles that say your voice is higher.
This works on so many older, often creepier dudes who have money and time to spend at these establishments. They feel like hotshots and the ladies tending to them know exactly what they are doing. Never saw a bartender or waiter job description saying to flirt. So don’t do it if you don’t mean it. It’s just manipulative and taking advantage of people. Maybe if you work at hooters or a strip club as the exception. But otherwise, you are just being dishonest and manipulative.
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