I’m number one Apologizing for what I’ve done Case you’re wondering what that was I snuck into a bathroom and I fisted my cuz I held her down and watched her struggle Then played with her melons because I like to juggle I’m not here to eat eats those truffles I’m just here to do the sex offender shuffle Hey everybody I’m Laura Hughes Proving that girls can do it too And by it, I mean to touch your cousin Was it worth it? No, it wasn’t. You won’t find me in your child’s play set ‘Cause I gotta wear this ankle bracelet I’m not here to go on a bender I’m here because I’m a sex offender Last name Burmholdt.
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I’m a sex offender Last name Burmholdt, first name Marc I’m moving in somewhere on your block Not in a house, but in a van, If you need me to move it, I sure can The last thing I want is any trouble I’ve learned my lesson from the sex offender shuffle I’m the one they call Arthur Chase They said I didn’t have to show my face My first trial ended in a hung jury If I’m found guilty they’ll unblur me I’m not the necrophiliac Arthur Chase That’s a different Arthur Chase I’m not here to be my own defender I’m here because I’m possibly a sex offender Okay real quick.