Then, I would grab an 8-ball of coke from the sleigh’s center console. I would use that to sway some of the reindeer to take me back home. Once home, I would clean the mirror and then nestle back into bed; sleeping soundly knowing that I hijacked all of the Christmas presents this year.
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Dismember his body. Then, feed it to the reindeer while I snatch everything from the sleigh. At that point, I’ll let the reindeer know that Santa didn’t make it and that he appointed me as New Santa. We’ll fly around the “Whole New World” style for a while. Then I would crash in Santa’s bed with Miss Claus. The next morning, I would take a massive dump into Santa’s polar toilet.
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